Wednesday, November 4, 2015

R.I.P. Miss Kitty

You fall in love with someone slowly until there is no you or I.  Although I lived with my little cat for at least 12-14 years I barely remember a time here in this house without her.  She arrived unexpectedly, and decided this would be her home the way cats sometimes do.  We named her Heidi Fleiss but I always only called her Kitty.  Slowly she changed over time, from being a very shy skiddish young cat to one much less wary, and actually a constant shadow and companion.  I always had hoped I would have a little cat that would like to sit in my lap and after many years, she trusted me enough to satisfy my wish.  She would go for a walk with me.... more like a dog than a cat though she she was mostly catlike in her nature. She was one of the first sounds and presences I would hear and experience each morning and was always in my personal space, and now I feel a huge emptiness without her.  She traveled with me, made friends, was always there never asking for much until the end when I couldn't seem to satiate her hunger with the right thing even though I tried everything and anything to tempt her and fill her boney little body.  Death always comes as a surprise, even when you are expecting it, but I wasn't thinking last Friday would be her last day.  Still, even if I had been expecting it, I am sure I would still be finding myself now, looking and listening for all of the little ways my sweet kitty made her presence known and felt in my life.  I can see her little face in the window pleading for something, I'm listening for the sound she made as she jumped onto the bed at night, I want to feel her so slight weight on my shoulder as we both slept, and I will miss her little paw touching my face and asking for something that I never completely understood.
Anyone who has loved an animal knows their lives are too short.  And hers was shortened yet by an unintended playful pounce by my dog that left her leg unusuable, impossible to reattach to her wasted musculature, and just too much for her fragile body to take.  I had stated out loud just earlier in the week to my cousin that one day Claude would kill her with his playful ways, but I didn't really want to believe it....
Being currently in an injured state myself, I felt her pain even more profoundly, and I felt helpless to do much for her other than take away the pain.
It's really strange but sometimes I write things on this blog saving them for future dates, and they aren't posted until days later... and yet whatever it was in the air that I was feeling or sensing days before makes a connection into the future.  Last week I shared something about death that helped me accept what happened to the kitty understanding in this case it was really no ones fault.  Just an honest accident of animal nature and fate.  I am becoming aware of a strange sychronicity with my consciousness and reality that I can't explain.   It is with gratitude for the time we spent together and saddness for a loss that came too soon, that I share these photos today.  Rest in peace little one, I won't ever forget you.






















Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.  Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.  Let reality be reality.  Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  -- Lao Tzu

12 comments:

smartcat said...

What a lovely tribute to Miss Kitty. Our pets, or as I call them the 4leggers, are such a part of our lives that it feels like they have been with us forever.
I love all the photos and am pleased to see that Miss Kitty was an excellent Helper Cat!

HeidiMCF said...

Your post is one of the most honest and touching things I've read in a while. You capture the feelings of loss so well, a lump formed in my throat and my eyes teared. 😯 I'm so sorry for your loss. Kitty was a beautiful cat!

HeidiMCF said...

Your post is one of the most honest and touching things I've read in a while. You capture the feelings of loss so well, a lump formed in my throat and my eyes teared. 😯 I'm so sorry for your loss. Kitty was a beautiful cat!

Enchanted Blue Planet said...

This is a time of tenderness. Kitty was loved. You are loved. And Claude is too.
Sending you compassion Jenny -and gratitude for your soulful blog that touches my life.

Barbara Rogers said...

Less than a month ago I had to say goodbye to my warm furry friend, Muffin. I was so sad, and cried like I haven't for years. When I posted about it on my blog and facebook, I found many other people who share this kind of loss. It helped me get through those first few days of wondering where she was when I ate breakfast and no one was there to lick the plate. I do have another cat, who remains rather distant. I wonder if we will ever get that close. So sorry for your loss.

susan farrington said...

Dear Jenny, There are no words to express how sorry I am for the loss of your sweet Miss Kitty. When I lost my dog Tupper several years back it was as if someone had taken a piece out of my heart. There is comfort in knowing that you gave her a loving home and that your bond was a gift to both you and her. I will be thinking of you. WIth love, Sue

mary@becreativemary.com said...

You quite beautifully summed up the hardest part of owning a pet. I too am a cat lover. So sad :( They are our quiet friends

Valerie Metcalfe said...

Lovely homage to your dear Kitty. I don't think we ever cease to miss our beloved animals. So sorry for your loss.

Bruce Erdman said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope someone is near enough to give you a gentle hug. I will miss Ms Kitty and am glad that I once got to meet her in person.

Anne Leuck Feldhaus said...

So sad, but such a beautiful and poignant tribute, Jenny. Sending good thoughts.

Jenny Mendes said...

Thank you friends for your sweet words..... it means a lot. :)

Anonymous said...

This is a touching tribute. Thank you.