R.I.P. Miss Kitty
You fall in love with someone slowly until there is no you or I. Although I lived with my little cat for at least 12-14 years I barely remember a time here in this house without her. She arrived unexpectedly, and decided this would be her home the way cats sometimes do. We named her Heidi Fleiss but I always only called her Kitty. Slowly she changed over time, from being a very shy skiddish young cat to one much less wary, and actually a constant shadow and companion. I always had hoped I would have a little cat that would like to sit in my lap and after many years, she trusted me enough to satisfy my wish. She would go for a walk with me.... more like a dog than a cat though she she was mostly catlike in her nature. She was one of the first sounds and presences I would hear and experience each morning and was always in my personal space, and now I feel a huge emptiness without her. She traveled with me, made friends, was always there never asking for much until the end when I couldn't seem to satiate her hunger with the right thing even though I tried everything and anything to tempt her and fill her boney little body. Death always comes as a surprise, even when you are expecting it, but I wasn't thinking last Friday would be her last day. Still, even if I had been expecting it, I am sure I would still be finding myself now, looking and listening for all of the little ways my sweet kitty made her presence known and felt in my life. I can see her little face in the window pleading for something, I'm listening for the sound she made as she jumped onto the bed at night, I want to feel her so slight weight on my shoulder as we both slept, and I will miss her little paw touching my face and asking for something that I never completely understood.
Anyone who has loved an animal knows their lives are too short. And hers was shortened yet by an unintended playful pounce by my dog that left her leg unusuable, impossible to reattach to her wasted musculature, and just too much for her fragile body to take. I had stated out loud just earlier in the week to my cousin that one day Claude would kill her with his playful ways, but I didn't really want to believe it....
Being currently in an injured state myself, I felt her pain even more profoundly, and I felt helpless to do much for her other than take away the pain.
It's really strange but sometimes I write things on this blog saving them for future dates, and they aren't posted until days later... and yet whatever it was in the air that I was feeling or sensing days before makes a connection into the future. Last week I shared something about death that helped me accept what happened to the kitty understanding in this case it was really no ones fault. Just an honest accident of animal nature and fate. I am becoming aware of a strange sychronicity with my consciousness and reality that I can't explain. It is with gratitude for the time we spent together and saddness for a loss that came too soon, that I share these photos today. Rest in peace little one, I won't ever forget you.
Anyone who has loved an animal knows their lives are too short. And hers was shortened yet by an unintended playful pounce by my dog that left her leg unusuable, impossible to reattach to her wasted musculature, and just too much for her fragile body to take. I had stated out loud just earlier in the week to my cousin that one day Claude would kill her with his playful ways, but I didn't really want to believe it....
Being currently in an injured state myself, I felt her pain even more profoundly, and I felt helpless to do much for her other than take away the pain.
It's really strange but sometimes I write things on this blog saving them for future dates, and they aren't posted until days later... and yet whatever it was in the air that I was feeling or sensing days before makes a connection into the future. Last week I shared something about death that helped me accept what happened to the kitty understanding in this case it was really no ones fault. Just an honest accident of animal nature and fate. I am becoming aware of a strange sychronicity with my consciousness and reality that I can't explain. It is with gratitude for the time we spent together and saddness for a loss that came too soon, that I share these photos today. Rest in peace little one, I won't ever forget you.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. -- Lao Tzu |
Comments
I love all the photos and am pleased to see that Miss Kitty was an excellent Helper Cat!
Sending you compassion Jenny -and gratitude for your soulful blog that touches my life.