Awake to the Name



My intuition told me something was wrong with my neighbor.  She was bipolar and had had a rough year.  Our houses are far apart, and yet she was the one person I would see coming and going, the one person whose habits I was familiar with.  I don't know why, but I felt it the first day I noticed  delivered newspapers that she hadn't picked up in her driveway, her house was dark and by Friday night the feeling could not be ignored, and I  finally called the police to have them check in on her.  Trust your intuition, Caroline my friend always tells me, and I did.  In my artwork, I never question it, I go with it, no matter where it takes me, but in life, it is a more difficult place to trust, and yet, isn't it the same?  More and more I am consciously practicing to trust my inner voice more and act on it, and so, after an internal struggle I made the call.  I'd never called the Police in my life like that ..... They found her, outside, deceased, her goat alone maybe inside the house.   It had been very cold for several days.   I don't know if we will ever know exactly what happened, but I have to wonder how long she was outside before she died.?  and if I had done something sooner would it have made a difference?  The truth is no one might have discovered her for days or weeks because she was a person that had few visitors.  In the end I thought, we often have a choice to take action or ignore that little voice inside....and so often we let the impulse pass unexplored.  I'm trying both to hear it more clearly, and in the kindest of ways do something when intuition taps me on the shoulder and says, look, see, listen, act.  It's strange to look out across the street and know that source of manic energy that lived up the hill has now been released into the universe.  RIP I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner, and I hope you didn't suffer for very long.  

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Sally Mann